


We All Have Our Reasons

by Spnlife



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Badass Reader, F/M, Reader-Insert, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:01:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9231974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spnlife/pseuds/Spnlife
Summary: Everyone has a reason for getting into this life. At some point in each hunters life, they've had an encounter with some evil SOB that has hurt them or killed someone they love. Your story is no different. Once you knew what was out there, you couldn't go back. You started hunting and eventually run into two hunter brothers that you can't seem to shake, and eventually they grow on you. Especially the one with the green eyes.





	1. Your story begins...

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fic so please, let me know what you think!

"Finally" you thought as you shut the door to your 3 year old daughters room behind you. "Peace and quiet." It had been a long week. Your husband was out of town on business and being a single mom for the week had drained you. Not that your daughter was bad, it was just a lot to juggle it all. Work had also been especially busy, you had worked long hours most days, but that was really nothing new. You smiled thinking of her little quirks and the fun you had this week with her. 

You sighed as you walked to the kitchen to grab some snacks and a beer. All you wanted was to sit down and veg on the couch, maybe catch up on one of your favorite shows. But you knew that would be trouble, it always was. Whenever you weren't busy with something, your mind went crazy trying to get you to deal with reality. You were happy, mostly. People envied what you had: a master’s degree, a good job, a house, beautiful daughter, wonderful husband who also had a great job and was well educated. So what was wrong? 

"Some people wish they had what I have. Or at least what they think I have." you thought as you opened your beer. Truth was, neither you or your husband were truly and completely happy together anymore. You both were always snappy towards each other and arguments were common. You could easily count the number of times you had sex since your daughter was born - on one hand. Not that you didn't want it, sadly just not with him. There was nothing wrong with him, the sexual attraction just wasn't there anymore. It even had you wondering if you were -in- love with him anymore. Of course you loved him, but was it that type of love still? The love that made you crazy and wanted nothing more than to be with him. You weren’t sure, and being unsure made you wonder even more. Even thinking about this broke your heart and made you feel inadequate as a wife. He didn't deserve a wife with doubts, so you needed to get over it for both him and your daughter.

"Ugh, there's nothing on tonight." You thought, deciding instead to go to bed. You peeked in your daughter’s room on your way down the hall noticing how peaceful she seemed. You slipped into your sweats and a t shirt, brushed your teeth and headed for bed. It didn’t take long to fall asleep as you succumbed to your exhaustion almost immediately.

***

After a few hours, you woke hearing your daughter talking to herself in her room. "Cute, but go back to sleep." You laughed to yourself as you settled back into bed. A moment later, you heard a loud noise followed by a high-pitched scream that sent chills down your spine. You jumped out of bed and ran towards your daughter’s room, trying to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. "How the fuck did it get locked?!" You thought. It doesn't even have a lock. You threw yourself onto the door trying to get it to open. When you finally did, all you could see was a dark, hooded figure holding your daughter.

Without even thinking, you rushed toward the figure, yelling "Put her down! What are you doing in my house?" The figure slowly turned towards you and with a flick of his wrist you went flying into the air, hitting the wall. You could feel blood on the back of your head but that didn't matter right now. What mattered was getting your daughter away from this thing, whatever it was. You got back up and began threw yourself toward the figure, clawing at him, trying to get your daughter free. The thing easily overpowered you and threw you back against the dresser. The blood was flowing more freely from the gash on your head, and the pain indescribable as you slumped down but you had to save your daughter.

"Please," you begged, now tears running down your face. "Let her go! She's just a baby." You could see a grin cross the figures face. In the sliver of moonlight coming into the room, you could make out more of the figure. He was wearing a tattered black cloak and his skin was leathery and wrinkled.

"I know" he snickered as he leaned in, cradling your daughter in his arms. He opened his mouth and you could see the life slowly leaving your daughter’s body, as if he was drinking it. You somehow manage to stand back up and made one last effort to save your daughter. You lunged forward and the figure threw you into the wall one last time. The last thing you saw before everything went black, was your daughters limp lifeless body being laid back on her bed.


	2. A Hunter is Born

You woke up the next morning with a killer headache. "What a fucked up dream" You thought as you started coming to. As you opened your eyes you quickly realized it was not a dream. As you looked around, you saw the turned over and broken furniture and then your worst nightmare: your daughter’s body, lifeless on her bed. You tried to get up, screaming in pain as you crashed back down. The pain was excruciating, you must've broken a rib or something. You crawled over to her bed, trying to ignore the pain so you could check on her.

Crying, you picked her up, holding her and sobbing. It felt like hours before you gathered yourself enough to put her down and call the police.

"What the hell am I going to tell them? They will never believe me. Hell, I don't believe me." You said aloud as you dialed.

***

It didn't take long for the police and paramedics to show up. When they arrived, you were sitting in your daughter’s room, staring off and shock finally setting in. Your whole face was red and puffy from crying.

"Come with me ma'am." A kind faced man requested gently, pulling you back to reality. "I'm Detective Johnson."

"Um-yeah ok.." you managed to stammer. He helped you to your feet and led you to the living room. Sitting next to you on the couch, he asked what happened as a paramedic checked you over. It was then you realize how bloody and bruised you were. You did your best to describe everything that had happened and give all the details you thought might be helpful. By looking at the detective’s face, it was pretty clear he didn't quite believe you.

"So a 'dark figure sucked the life' out of your daughter?" He asked in a condescending tone.

"Yes, look - I know it sounds crazy, but I know what I saw. Oh my god, I need to call my husband... Oh my god." You began sobbing again.

"Ma'am, we've already notified him and he is on his way home. He's going to meet us at the hospital." said Detective Johnson. "Let's take you there to meet him and get checked out by a doctor." His words stung as you were reminded of the pain in your ribs, and really everywhere. 

"Yeah um ok." You said as he led you out of your home. As you were leaving, you turned just in time to see your daughter being carried out of the home in a small, black bag. Sobs began to overwhelm you again and the detective gently helped you into the car.

********

"Thank you." You mumbled to the detective as he set a glass of water on the hospital tray in front of you. You were finally done being checked out by the doctors and you were right: 2 broken ribs and it hurt like hell. They also thought you had a concussion and there were multiple cuts and bruises all over your arms, legs and back.

“Ma’am?” Another detective asked. “Hello?”

“Huh? What? I’m sorry, did you say something?” You said, coming back into reality.

“Yes, ma’am. I had asked you to tell me one more time what happened.” The new detective asked. His badge said Weaver. But you didn’t remember being introduced. Not surprising, since you’ve been in and out of it and now on pain medications since arriving at the hospital. Now, you were about the go over what happened for what seemed like the 100th time. It was clear that they definitely didn't believe you, and it was starting to seem like they thought you were involved somehow with her death.

"Look I'm exhausted and I don't know how many more times we have to go over this. I’ve told you what happened; the truth and you don't seem to believe me. I get it, I don't believe it either-but that is exactly what happened." By then, you started to try to sit up and could feel yourself getting angry as you started raising your voice. You caught yourself and settled back into the hospital bed. "Look I know how this sounds. I just don't know what else to say to make you believe me...." you trailed off as you saw your husband appear in the doorway.

He looked broken, exhausted and lost. "Poor Chris." You thought. He was always the more emotional one, wearing his emotions on his sleeve. You tended to be more of the strong and rational one. 

“Y/N.” He sighed as he rushed over to you, hugging you, causing you to cry out in pain – you definitely needed to ask for a stronger dose. “Oh god, I am so sorry! Are you ok? What is the doctor saying? Where is our daughter? What happened?!” He was rambling, he then turned to the detectives, asking again more calmly, “What happened?”

One of the detectives got a phone call and excused himself as you again went over what happened in excruciating detail, watching as your husband broke down crying. It killed you to see him like this but there was nothing you could do. The detective finally returned and asked to speak to the other detective privately. 

“Oh, no you don’t!” You stated sternly. “What is it? What did you find out?!”

“Ma’am, we will tell you as soon as –“ he started.

“No. You will tell me now.”

“Uh I don’t know if.. um..” he looked at the other detective almost looking for permission. Clearing his throat, he started “To be honest, I – I don’t know. The coroner’s report came back. Your daughter, she um.. Her organs were liquefied.”

“I’m sorry, they were what?” You said in disbelief. Although in some ways, you did believe it. All of it. It was starting to sink in that there are other things out there. Evil things. Monsters. And liquefied organs strangely made sense. Let’s face it, that wasn’t the craziest thing to happen in the last 24 hours.

“Exactly. Liquefied. Coroner isn’t sure what could have done that. It’s definitely not anything we’ve seen before,” the Detective continued. 

*****

After a long silence, your husband asked, “Is she a suspect, because I am sure she needs some rest and I would like to spend some time with my wife.”

“No sir, she is not a suspect. Given the new developments and the evidence at the home, I would say she is cleared.” Detective Johnson said.

“Good, now please – leave.” Chris said tiredly.

After the detective left, the silence was deafening. You wished you could know what was going on in your husband’s head, wished you could comfort him. You reached out to touch his hand, and he immediately pulled it away. He looked at you with a look of pity, mixed with something you didn’t quite recognize.

“You can’t honestly expect me to believe that story you told them,” he said harshly.

“Chris, please, I know it sounds crazy but –“ you started, before being interrupted.

“I don’t know what happened, but your story is crazy. It’s unbelievable. There is no way some ‘figure’ broke into our house, with no evidence of a break in mind you, and killed our daughter, liquefying her organs. That is insane. You are insane!“ now almost yelling.

By this point, tears were streaming down your face. How could he honestly think you would do something, or anything to harm your daughter. You daughter was the sole source of happiness for you, you would never have done anything to hurt her. In fact, you almost died trying to save her. A few moments ago, he seemed to believe you when the detectives were there and now, not so much. You sat back in the bed, sobbing and looking out the window. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw your husband shake his head and walk out without another word.

Over the next few days he came and went infrequently. He never stayed for long and his visits were always cold. Mostly checking to see you were alive, and to see if you “remembered anything else” as he put it. Seemed like he was hoping your story would change somehow. The detectives still hadn’t cleared your home from being a crime scene so your husband was staying with his family. No one except him had come to visit or called to check in. “They must all think I did it” your heart breaking as that thought occurred to you. Not only had you lost your child, but now it seemed you were losing your entire family too.

The day had come for you to discharge from the hospital. The detectives were escorting you to your home to pick up some of your belongings, the essentials mostly. They asked why your husband wasn’t coming and you shrugged, mumbling something about him having to work. You gathered some clothes, pictures of your daughter and some other essentials. You grabbed your car keys and checked into a hotel. There was no way you could stay in that house, even once they cleared it. Before leaving, you stopped in your daughter’s room, observing everything, lightly touching some of her toys and clothes, hoping this horrible dream would soon be over. That’s when you noticed the rotted, marks on the wood framing outside her window. It almost looked like a bony handprint. “Interesting,” you thought.

The next few weeks were very lonely for you. You barely spoke to your husband, and when you did it was cold and condescending. You returned to work, but everything was different. People couldn’t look you in the face and were afraid to even talk to you. You decided you couldn’t take this anymore. You quit your job and took divorce papers to your husband. No one believed you, but you know what you saw. You know what happened. And you were going to find that son of a bitch and make it pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I do not own Supernatural or any of it's characters.


	3. That's Not How You Treat A Lady

Your divorce was finalized 5 years ago, and since then you hadn’t really looked back. You lived on the road, motel to motel. Hunting whatever evil son of a bitch you could find. You were a fast learner and discovered you were a pretty good hunter – fast and efficient. Most things you encountered didn’t live to tell the tale. Of course, you’d been injured along the way. But nothing could compare to how you felt that night, almost 6 years ago.

You checked into another dingy motel room. “Ugh” you thought, “I’ll get used to this someday, right?” As dingy as the room was, it was also somewhat calming. No judgement, no pitiful or accusatory eyes following you. This life on the road wasn’t so bad. It was actually exciting. Something that 5 years ago would have seemed impossible in the uneventful, boring life you had been living. Not to say you didn’t miss it sometimes. But those moments were trouble. You shoved those thoughts down deep because you couldn’t afford to be distracted. Distractions get you hurt, or worse.

You had no more leads today on what killed your daughter than you did back then. But you had been helping people, preventing others from dying seemed like the next best thing. You had a case in town to look into, but tonight you needed to make some money. Stolen credit cards only got you so far, so you had to hustle to make up the rest.

You found some short shorts and a tank top in your suitcase. Hunting really helped to keep you slim and sexy, so that was a plus and it worked to your advantage, like it would tonight. You pulled on some cowboy boots and grabbed your car keys to find the nearest bar with a pool table. 

You walked into the nearest dump of a bar and noticed that many of the eyes were on you. “Perfect.” You thought, heading to the bar, ordering a beer and a shot of whiskey. Tonight seemed like it would be a good night for hustling so you got right to it after downing your shot. You walked over to the pool table and did your sweetest, charming act to get the guys to let you play. A few games just for fun, showing just how “bad” you were at pool and then you’d pretend to be drunk and start making bets. They would of course take you up on it, thinking you were an easy target. You’d lose the first few on purpose and start upping the bet amount. You’d sometimes even offer going home with one of them if they won, but once the ante got that high, they never won. You could usually make off with $300-$400 in one night of doing that. And tonight was no different.

While you were playing, you always were on high alert – knowing exactly what was going on around you and who was there. Normally, people in the crowd only catch your attention because they were getting too rowdy, but tonight, there were 2 men off in the corner that caught your eye. One was hunched over a laptop which you thought was weird. “Who works on their laptop at a bar?” Then you remembered, you do sometimes when you are researching a hunt. You let out a small chuckle. The other one had his eyes on you. 

He had dirty blond short hair with a sculpted, strong jaw with a dimpled chin and beautiful, full lips. And his eyes, those made you melt. Big beautiful green eyes that seemed too beautiful to be real. He seemed muscular under the multiple layers he wore. You found yourself wondering what he might look like without all those bulky cloths. “Stop it” you thought, “not the time to get distracted.” The other guy had shoulder length rich brown hair, sharp cheekbones and boy, was he tall. At least six foot if not taller. Gorgeous hazel, puppy dog eyes that could probably get a girl to do whatever he wanted. Except you. You had your eye on green eyes over there. He had that bad boy look to him that you only saw in the movies. Well, when you used to watch movies.

“Time for a drink, boys” you said to the guys at the pool table, “I’ll be right back.” You heard them make nasty comments about what they wanted to do with you when they got to take you home. You laughed inside, knowing that would never happen. You got to the bar and ordered another beer and another shot. 

While you were waiting for your drinks, you heard a deep, husky voice behind you ask “Is this seat taken?” You turned around, trying not to act surprised when you saw green eyes standing behind you. Wow, he was even more gorgeous up close. And he smelled – so – good. It was a mixture of leather, whiskey and something else, you couldn’t quite place it. Whatever it was, it was delicious, he was delicious, but you couldn’t get distracted. You had bills to pay and a job to do and he would only be a distraction.

“Nope.” You said curtly as he sat down. 

“Names Dean. What’s yours?” he asked. 

“Y/N.” 

“Nice to meet you. You from around here?” He said flirtatiously.

“Nope” you said as your drinks arrived. You downed the whiskey and grabbed your beer as you stood up

“My kinda girl” Dean laughed. You rolled your eyes and walked back over to the table. Your heart was racing. How the hell did you just walk away from that gorgeous man? “Hey, I was just trying to be nice” he yelled after you as you walked away. “Whatever.” You carefully glanced over to the man he was with, who was laughing at Dean’s rejection as Dean made his way back to their table.

The rest of the night you could feel his gaze on you. When you looked towards him, he would look away embarrassed. His gaze seemed like he was intrigued by the strange woman who rejected him at the bar, like he was trying to figure you out, but of course he never would figure you out. You only let others see exactly what you wanted, and most of it was all show to get what you needed. Like this pool game, the dumb drunk girl routine was certainly not real, but it was profitable. Once you got your money from the guys, you said in your best sexy voice “Alright boys, I think I’m done for the night. Better luck next time.”

You made your way out of the bar and toward your car. Your car was a beauty. You sold your “mom” car from your past life and upgraded to this beauty: a 1975 black Dodge Charger. This car would never fly in your old life, but in this one, it was perfect.

You heard footsteps behind you and turned in time to see one of the guys from the pool game. “Miss me already?” you said coyly.

“You took our money bitch. I want it back.” He said.

“Aw now that isn’t any way to talk to a lady.” You laughed.

“Give it back bitch or you’ll be sorry!” as he grabbed your arm, pushing you against your car.

“Oh buddy, you just made a big mistake.” You said as you twisted away from him while twisting his arm behind his back. He wiggled free, turned around and took a swing at you. You ducked just in time while taking a swing and making contact with his jaw. He started to fall as you lifted your knee hard and fast into his stomach, making him crash to the ground even harder. “That is not how you treat a lady.” You said as you stepped over him and ran your fingers through your hair.

“Whoa” you heard behind you. You swung around to see Dean and the dark haired guy standing there. “We saw him come after you and I thought he might try something so we followed too and – whoa.” He rambled.

“How sweet, you were going to be my knight in shining armor?” You said sarcastically.

“Well, that was the plan, but obviously, you don’t need it.” Dean said defensively. The other guy cleared his throat, taking some of the tension out of the air. “Oh, uh yeah, this is my brother, Sam”.

“Hi, Sam and thank you, but no thank you. I can take care of myself.” You climbed into your car and shut the door behind you. You looked out and the boys were still staring at you in disbelief as you drove away.


	4. Took You Long Enough

The next morning, you put on your fed threads and headed down to the police station. You walked in and could feel the officer’s eyes on you as you walked past, as they should be. You looked good. You were wearing a sexy black pencil skirt, black heels, a white collared shirt that was tight across your breasts and was unbuttoned just enough to show some cleavage, with a blazer for authenticity. You went for a “I’m a fed so respect me but I’m also sexy so give me what I want” approach, which usually worked.

You walked up to the counter and flashed your badge requesting to meet with the coroner and see the body. An Officer led you back there rambling on about the case and how it seemed like a wild animal attack, but that it couldn’t be because it was in the vic’s home. He seemed perplexed by the case and you caught him glancing down at your cleavage more than once. 

“Thank you so much, I’ll come get you when I am done looking at the body.” You told the detective, who seemed unsure if he should leave you there alone. “It’ll be fine, I promise I wont touch anything I shouldn’t,” you said, placing your hand on his arm. He shook his head quickly and walked out. “Finally,” you thought. Sometimes the overly sweet/flirty thing was annoying so you were glad he left. You looked over the body and your suspicion was confirmed. Vampires. 

You were reading over the autopsy report just as the detective and 2 men in suits walked in. “Uh hi, Agent Hale, two of your colleagues are here.” 

“Crap.” You thought, “Colleagues? Who the hell? What the hell am I going to do?” Just then the 2 suited men walked in and you recognized them as Sam and Dean from last night.

“Hm, time to play along” you thought. “Well, hello boys. Took you long enough to get here. I’ve already taken a look at the body so I was just heading out.” You said confidently.

“Thank you, officer,” said Sam as the officer left.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Dean asked cautiously.

“I’m investigating a case. What are you doing here?” you asked, irritated.

“So are we. What did you find?” Dean replied. You realized at that moment that they weren’t really feds either, or they would be giving you hell.

“Who are you? And I know you aren’t feds so cut the crap,” You retorted.

“We are agents from…” Sam started, but was interrupted by Dean as you rolled your eyes.

“We’re hunters. And guessing by your little getup, the fact that he called you agent as well and your little adventure last night, I think you are too,” Dead said sternly.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I’m outta here.” You said as you walked by to leave. 

Dean grabbed your arm, “This is dangerous. You could get hurt. Either let us come with you, or get out of town,” He warned.

You shrugged his hand off your arm and give him a dirty look before walking out. You tried to ignore the warmth from where he touched you and the fact that his tone turned you on in ways you didn’t remember were possible.

***

You went back to the motel and started your research. You needed to find the nest fast as you didn’t have much daylight left. You searched for abandoned and remote buildings in the area of where the murders were happening. Bingo – you found an old abandoned farmhouse just outside of town and only a short distance from where most of the murders happened. That had to be it.

You packed up the essentials: a couple machetes and your gun with some bullets filled with dead man’s blood. You may be new at hunting, but you were a quick study. Hunting alone meant you had to be quick and creative so you didn’t die.

Dean’s words stuck with you. “This is dangerous” he had said. Of course it was, but what if he knew something more. Damn, he was so sexy, why can’t you get him out of your mind.

It had been years since you allowed yourself to have feelings for anyone. At least feelings for more than one night. This life didn’t really allow for anything long term. You never knew which hunt would be your last. You shoved those thoughts right back down so you could refocus. You grabbed the bag and headed to the nest.

***

As you pulled up you saw another car that you recognized. “Shit, the boys are here”. You parked next to them and hiked up the path. You stayed hidden in the trees and approached a window to the run down house. You could see vampires moving around inside, but no sign of the boys yet. You found a window that was propped open and peeked inside to make sure no one was there. You climbed in the window quietly and began moving about the house. A vampire came up from behind and grabbed you. You wrestled free and beheaded him with your machete. Glancing quickly around and realizing no one else was coming, you pulled his body into the empty room off the hall to buy yourself some time. If a vampire saw his buddy missing a head, you wouldn’t have the upper hand anymore. 

You peeked around the corner of the hallway wall and saw Sam and Dean tied to a couple of chairs, their weapons strewn around them. The vampires were mocking them and telling them how weak they were. The one vampire, who seemed like the leader kept hitting the boys over and over as he mocked them. They were in trouble and you needed to figure out a plan to save them. But how? Shit. 

After a particularly hard hit to the face, Dean’s head hung low and when he finally opened his eyes, he was looking right at you. You could tell he saw you and you put your finger to your mouth to shush him. Dean then started in on the vamps, telling them how fun it had been to kill one of their brothers. “What the hell is he doing?” you thought. “He’s going to get himself killed!” Then you realized: he was trying to distract them to buy you some time.

You carefully moved back down the hallway you just came from and went to a back room. You needed a distraction to draw the vamps away from the boys, and fast. You noticed a bookshelf in the corner, knocked it over and ran back to your hiding place. The bookshelf made a loud crash as it landed, causing the vamps to run towards it. Once you knew most of the vamps had left, you ran into the room with Sam and Dean and cut the ropes tying them to the chairs.

“Took you long enough” Dean chided.

“You’re an ass,” you retorted.

“Guys? Can we do this later? We’ve got angry vamps coming back our way.” Sam said sternly.

“Let’s split up. That way they get separated too and we can get more of those bastards,” You said.

“No way. Sam, you go towards the back and Y/N and I will stay together.” Dean responded.

Whatever you thought. Let’s just get this over with as you moved to the side of the room, just out of sight from the hallway. Just then, a vamp came running in to check on the boys. He frantically looked around for the boys. Realizing they were gone, he turned to find the others, but before he could, you ran up from your hiding spot and beheaded him. Dean was fighting off two vamps where he was. You pulled out your gun with dead man’s blood and shot the two vamps. That stalled them long enough for Dean to finish them off. 

You and Dean rushed off to find Sam and found more vamps along the way. As you moved through the house, killing any vampire you saw, you started thinking that you two actually made a good team. Each move you made was complemented by Dean. You finally found Sam in the back room with the fallen bookcase, surrounded by dead vamps. “Let’s get out of here,” he said.

You, Sam and Dean walked quietly back to your cars. When you got back to your cars, both Sam and Dean were studying you. You were all bruised and covered in blood. Sam noticed you had a large, deep cut on your hip. “Y/N, you should come back with us so we can patch up that cut. Or we can come with you. But we need to get that stitched.” Dean nodded in agreement.

“Thanks boys, but I think I’ve got it covered. I’ve had far worse and done just fine on my own,” you said as you loaded your weapons into your trunk.

“Please, let us at least make sure you get home safe,” Dean insisted.

“Fine, whatever,” you were too tired to care. “I’ll follow you.”


	5. Bloodloss

“What the hell is her problem?” Dean said to Sam as he drove back to his hotel with Y/N following. “We’re just trying to help and she refuses to let us!”

“Dean, who else does that sound like?” Sam laughed.

“Shut up, Sam. She is really hurt and we barely convinced her to let us stitch her wound.”

“Mmhmm,” Sam said with a look in his eye that reiterated what he said before.

Sam was right, Y/N is just like Dean. A hell of a fighter, bad attitude and stubborn. She was REALLY stubborn. But there something about her, something that drew Dean in. Something that no matter what, he wanted to protect her. He hadn’t met someone like her who actually understood this life before, and it troubled him. But it also excited him. Maybe there was a chance for him to be happy. To have that domestic life, a family even. “Getting a little ahead of yourself there, aren’t ya Dean?” he thought to himself. There was no way she thought of him that way. She barely seemed to want to be around them, let alone have feelings for him.

***  
So many thoughts ran through your head as you followed the boys to their motel. You couldn’t quite figure out why they were so concerned for you, Sam sure – he was nice enough, but Dean? Dean had been nothing but a condescending dick most of the time. So why were you so attracted to him? Why did you freak out at the thought of something happening to him? You barely knew these guys and yet, they already seemed to have a place in your life. And now, you were going to their motel room. What the hell is wrong with you? Going to a couple of strange guys’ motel room? You were strong and quick, but they were stronger. You still barely knew anything about them besides that they were also hunters. Despite all that, your mind kept wandering to Dean. Mmm Dean... Those lips... Those muscles... “Stop that!” you thought as you continued to drive to the motel. 

As you stopped daydreaming, you became increasingly aware of the amount of blood you were losing and had already lost. It must’ve opened up a bit more by sitting in your car for so long. You were beginning to worry if you’d make it to the motel before passing out. “Just a little further,” you thought, mostly trying to convince yourself as you faded in and out. You really had no idea how much further but knew you had to at least get to the parking lot. 

Finally, you saw them turn into a parking lot. You followed behind and parked next to their car. You opened your door and found yourself barely able to speak and you could barely make out where you were. You finally were able to groan Dean’s name before passing out.

***  
Dean heard you groan his name and ran over to the driver’s side of your car. He managed to catch you before you fully fell out of your car. “Sammy! She’s unconscious! Help me get her into the room!” 

Dean carefully picked you up and carried you into the room, laying you carefully on one of the beds. As he laid you down, your eyes fluttered open, briefly before passing back out. “Y/N!” he cried, “Stay with us! You’re going to be ok... We just need to stop the bleeding.” 

Sam ran to get the First Aid kit and a bottle of whiskey. Dean hesitated as he tried to figure out what to do. The wound was just low enough on your hip that he knew he’d have to take your pants off. “Not quite how I would’ve wanted this to happen the first time,” He thought as he unbuttoned them and gently slid them down your legs. He winced as he noticed all the bruises and scratches on your legs, matching the rest of your body. It hurt him to see your body so bruised and bloody. 

Sam came back and immediately went to work trying to stitch up the wound and cleaned it with the whiskey. Dean knelt next to the bed and took your hand in his, staring down at you. He was concerned at how much blood you had lost. “Come on Sam, hurry up!”

“I’m trying Dean, she’s going to be ok...” Sam trailed off as he finished stitching up the wound and taped gauze to cover it.

Now that the bleeding had stopped, Dean gently cleaned off some of the dirt and blood from your arms and legs, and eventually your face. He paused while cupping your face, slowly stroking your cheek. Dean replaced your bloodied pants with an extra pair of sweat pants from his bag. Sam settled into the other bed to get some rest while Dean leaned up against the head board next to where you lay, watching, waiting for any sign that you were ok. 

Dean couldn’t believe he was this concerned over someone he had just met. Sure, he never wanted anyone to get hurt. He always wanted to save people, it was the family business, but this was different. Something about your strength seemed familiar to him. 

***

When you woke up, your hip hurt like hell. You tried to sit up to inspect the damage and immediately fall back down, crying out in pain. Dean woke up and placed his hand on your arm, smiling “You’re awake, sweetheart.” 

“What happened? Where am I? Where are my pants?” You barely got out.

Dean relayed what had happened once you pulled into the parking lot. You weren’t sure, but it looked like Dean was blushing when he mentioned having to remove your pants and then redress you. Sam had also just arrived back with some food. “How are you feeling, Y/N?”

“Fabulous.” You mutter dryly. Dean seems to get frustrated by you and starts to get up. “Wait.” You say and you touch his arm, pulling him back. “I’m sorry. To both of you. I’m just not…I don’t know… I –” Where do you begin? I’m sorry for being an ungrateful bitch but if you only knew what I’ve been through, you may understand? You begin sobbing and you feel Dean place his arm around your shoulders pulling you close. You bury yourself in his chest. This is the first good cry you’ve had in years. Probably since you started hunting actually. You also ways tried to be so tough and strong, never letting yourself feel anything. And now, there are two people who actually seem to give a crap (not that you understand why) and you’ve treated them both like dirt. 

As you start to calm down, you looked up at Dean, and were struck by how beautiful his green eyes really were. He looked so concerned. Genuinely concerned. “Hmm, maybe he isn’t the cocky jerk he pretends to be,” you thought. You began to notice how safe you felt wrapped in his arms and how warm it was. 

“Thank you,” you are finally able to get out as you pull away. Sam and Dean continued to stare intently at you, seemingly unsure of what to do. It was Sam who finally broke the silence after what seemed like forever.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I bought a few different things,” as he pulled out different Styrofoam containers. He opened each one – pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs, toast and hash browns to show you and handed a smaller one to Dean. “And no, I didn’t forget your pie.” Dean’s eyes lit up like a little kid.

“Wow, really, thank you so much. It all looks great.” Dean began making a plate and handed it to you with a little of everything. “Thank you.” You laughed, “I feel like I’m going to be saying that a lot to you guys.”

***

After eating you decided to shower and hopefully feel a little more human after everything that had happened. You gathered what you needed and headed into the bathroom. You began to undress and as you tried to pull the sweats off, you cried out in pain. 

“Y/N! Are you ok?” Dean asked from outside the door. 

Crap. This is awkward. “Um, yeah, but I um, need some help.”

“Ok, can I come in?”

“Yeah..” you hesitantly say as you open the door. You stood there covering your breasts as he walked in, blushing as he realized you were topless, instantly looking down. “I know this is weird, and I wouldn’t be asking unless I had to but… Can you help me take off the sweats and underwear?”

Did Dean just blush again?? What the hell is going on??! Dean gently helped you pull them down and seemed to look away to protect some of your dignity. As soon as they were off, he left without a word.

“Thanks,” you mumbled but he was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! Please leave me comments to let me know what you think :) This is my first fic so sorry if it's a little rough. Where do you want to see the story go?


	6. Tension

A few weeks passed as you healed and stayed with the boys at their insistence. You had tried to leave a couple of times but both boys insisted you stay at least until you had healed. At first it was awkward, but you all eventually got into a rhythm where the boys would hunt and you would stay back and do the research. You were aching to get back to hunting but knew it was too soon. Sam and Dean took turns sleeping on the second bed in the room insisting that you always had a bed. They both seemed to care a lot about you and your feelings for them continued to grow, albeit in different ways for each brother.

You and Sam had developed a close friendship. You had thought of telling him about your past a few times, but couldn’t bring yourself to it. He never pressed you for information, but always let you know he would listen when you were ready. Dean however, was hot and cold. One day he seemed concerned for your wellbeing and the next as though he was annoyed by your presence. You knew that your feelings for him were growing, and it irritated the hell out of you. He could be such a dick, why would you be falling for someone like that? You had kept yourself from having feelings for anyone in so long, and now, you had feelings for someone who acted like a jerk half the time. “Ugh, feels like high school all over again,” you thought.

No one had mentioned that night when you had broken down crying and you were in no hurry to bring it up. You knew you needed to tell them everything, you just didn’t know when. To be honest, you were putting it off. You in no way wanted to relive the death of your child and the loss of your entire family. 

You were slammed back to reality when the boys came bursting through the door, laughing and covered in blood. You chuckled to yourself that this was your new normal: two giants covered in blood and laughing. The irony of it all humored you. 

“I can’t believe you said that!” Same laughed at Dean. “I thought he was for sure going to kill you for that one.”

“Yeah, well he didn’t.” Dean responded smugly. “How’s our girl?”

“Pretty good actually.” You showed them the wound and how it was almost healed. “I should be ready to start hunting again soon.” You added, happily.

“That’s great, Y/N!” Sam responded.

“It might be good to wait awhile longer,” Dean said cautiously. He knew that telling you to do anything you didn’t want to was dangerous. “I – We don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“There’s my knight in shining armor again,” you said sarcastically and dramatically flung your hand to your forehead, pretending to faint as Sam chuckled.

“I’m going to go get us some food, try not to kill each other while I’m gone?” Sam said as he left.

“No promises,” you yelled after him. Looking back at Dean, he seemed agitated. His brow was furrowed as he aimlessly rearranged the books and papers on the table.

“What’s up?” You asked as you walked up to him, placing your hand on his arm.

“Nothing.” He said curtly and pulling away from you.

“Um yeah right. You seem just peachy.” You say sarcastically.

Dean whipped around and came towards you, almost touching you. “You want to know what’s up?! You are so damn difficult sometimes. We just want to make sure you are safe and you keep wanting to run back out there and get yourself hurt again, or worse!” Dean was practically shouting now and his green eyes had darkened as he looked at you, but didn’t move away.

Now you were livid. “You just don’t get it, do you?! I’m going crazy staying in this room! I did just fine hunting before! Not to mention the fact that I am almost healed. I’m not saying I want to go out and hunt tonight, but soon! And why do you even care so much?! A few weeks ago, you didn’t even know me and you barely seem like you want me around. So, what the fuck? What am I supposed to think?”

“You can’t actually believe that? That I don’t want you around?” Dean said, softer now. You almost missed his arms begin to reach for you before he dropped them back to his side.

“Sometimes yeah, I do.” You said, looking down, almost embarrassed that you had admitted this to him and showing weakness.

Dean reached out and lifted your chin so you were now looking directly into his green eyes. They were bright again, filled with pain. “Y/N, I’m sorry… I don’t want you feeling that way…I just..” It seemed like he was about to kiss you when he heard the lock on the door turning. He pulled away just as Sam came in, leaving you hungry for his warmth and more confused than ever. What the hell just happened? You went from full on screaming at each other, to nearly kissing. “I need a drink,” you thought.

“Uh – did I miss something?” Sam asked, puzzled by what he walked in on.

***

You all ate the food Sam had brought in silence. Finally, Dean exclaimed “Let’s go get some drinks. We all deserve it.”

You all eagerly agreed and soon you were all piled in the Impala and heading to the nearest bar. When you walked in, the boys went and found a table while you went straight for the bar. You ordered beers and some shots of whiskey. You decided to take one of the shots while you waited for the other drinks, hoping it would calm you down. You were still confused by what took place earlier. You were so spaced out you barely noticed the two guys sit on either side of you just as the rest of your drinks came. 

“Well, hello beautiful, what’s your name?” the one on your right said.

“Y/N” you said flatly and began to gather your drinks.

“Aww don’t be leaving us so soon, we were just getting acquainted,” The one on the left slurred.

You looked back and saw Dean, watching intently. Brow furrowed and eyes dark – was he jealous?? “Let’s test this theory,” you thought.

“Aww I’m sorry boys, but I should get back to my friends,” You said sweetly as you smiled to them both. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Dean already behind you.

“Is there a problem, y/n?” He said curtly.

“Hey we were just talking to this sexy little thing,” one of the guys said. You began to grow irritated with the guys. They kept looking you up and down and you could tell they weren’t just wanting to talk.

“No problem, Dean. Let’s go.” You said as you began to walk away. One of the guys grabbed your arm, “Hey we weren’t done talking to you yet.”

“Yes, you are.” Dean said fiercely and approached the guys, placing himself between you and them. They guys at first looked like they were ready to fight then they noticed Sam had come up next to Dean. No one in their right mind would take on these two muscular giants. 

“Whatever,” they mumbled and turned back to their drinks. “The skanks all yours.”

That was it for Dean. He scoffed and looked as though he was going to hit them. Before he could you pushed him back to the table “Let’s go Dean, its ok. I’m ok,” you said, just loud enough for him to hear. He quickly turned around to saunter back to the table and took one of the shots you had got. You sat next to him in the booth. “Hey,” trying to get his attention “You ok?”

“I just – I thought you were in trouble. And I couldn’t…”

“You couldn’t what Dean? Talk to me…”

“I couldn’t bear to think of you with them.”

For some reason, this infuriated you. You were not his. He hadn’t made any sort of moves for you and now all of a sudden he gets to determine who you talk to?

“Dean, I am an adult and I can talk to whomever I please. Do you really think so little of me that I would just go off with some lowlifes at a bar? And even if I did, what does it matter to you?!” you said angrily. You got up and grabbed your coat. 

“Where are you going?” Dean retorted.

“Away from you. You have no right to treat me like this. I’m done.”

You stormed off, passing Sam as he was on his way back to the table with the drinks you never got. Dean got up and followed you out, leaving Sam at the table, confused.

***

“Y/n! Wait!” Dean shouted after you. 

You kept walking. You were pissed. Not so much at how he was acting, but the fact that he acted like you were his yet hadn’t clued you in on that yet. 

“What Dean? What do you want?!” You whirled around when you reached the Impala, just in time for him to grab you in a tight hug and begin kissing you. His kiss was hungry, as if he would die if he stopped kissing you. Once you realized what was happening, your hand reach up around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. One hand held the back of your head close while the other, he kept around your waist, pressing your entire body to his. His tongue gently brushed against your lips, and you gladly opened for him. You felt lost in his kiss and the warmth of his body as it stayed pressed to yours. You could feel him hardening, which made you pull him deeper into the kiss. 

Suddenly he stopped, leaning his forehead to yours and keeping you pressed to his body. You were now leaning against the car, and both of you were out of breath. “y/n..” he said softly. “I’m sorry I got so mad in there. I couldn’t stand the thought of you with them, because….. I…. care about you. A lot. Seeing them even talk to you, drove me insane. I’ve tried so hard to not care…You just…. You mean so much to me.” 

Before responding, you kissed him again, deeply. You looked deep into his eyes, his eyes seemed genuine and so vulnerable in this moment. You had no idea what to say, nothing seemed to be just right. Of course you cared about him, hell, you may even be in love with him. “Dean, I – ” you started, but were interrupted by Sam.

“Hey guys, I think we got a case!” As he began explaining the case, he realized he had interrupted the moment. “Oh crap, um I’m sorry, um…” he stammered out.

“A case? Ok let’s go.” Dean said as he looked briefly at you with an expression you couldn’t read then climbed into the car.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its taken so long to update this! Life kind of got in the way... :( I know where I want the story to go, I was just having a hard time figuring out how to get there. I think I figured it out now and I've already mostly written the next couple of chapters so it shouldn't take me so long to get those up. 
> 
> Please leave comments or kudos, they help me stay motivated and let me know I'm on the right track. :) Thanks!!

As you drove back the motel, Sam was explaining that he had gotten a call from another hunter about a case a few states over, with a rising number of missing persons. As he was talking, you noticed Dean stealing glances at you in the rearview.

“So what was so urgent that we had to leave right away? Why isn’t this other hunter taking care of the case?” You asked, trying to get your heart to return to normal.

“Apparently, people are disappearing pretty rapidly. I did some research, and this occurs every 20 years or so, hikers go missing in this specific area. I’m thinking it’s a Wendigo. Dean and I killed one a few years back. Seems like a similar pattern.”

“Alright, let’s do this.” You replied flatly as you settled into the back seat.

***

You all were standing outside an old mining cave, making final preparations with your weapons. The boys had given you a flare gun. It didn’t have your usual flair for lethality, but the boys assured you that it was efficient and lethal for these wendigos.

“You don’t have to go in with us. You can wait out here if you’d like.” Dean said as he pulled you aside.

By this point you were a little irritated with his over protectiveness. Since the case came up he had been trying to get you to stay behind or just keep watch. At first you thought it was sweet, that he wanted to keep you safe. Now you found it annoying. You had hunted alone for years and, if you did say so yourself, you were a damn good hunter. But ever since the kiss he had been annoying in his attempts to not so subtlety “protect you”. 

“Dean, for the 100th time: I am going in there with you. I will be fine. I am not staying back, and I swear to god if you try to get me to stay out here one more time, I will shoot you.” You were livid at this point and stalked off back to Sam, who was smirking. Sam loved that you didn’t take any of Dean’s crap and your quick wit usually left Dean stuttering, trying to come up with a retort but was usually left speechless.

You all quietly entered the cave, Dean motioning to each of you where to search. A few minutes in, you all heard an inhuman screech followed by crying. Wendigos were known to imitate human sounds, but this sounded pretty real. You cautiously followed the crying sounds, coming into a larger cavern. When you peeked around the corner, you saw 3 people chained with their arms above their heads. They all appeared unconscious. You rushed over to the first one, checking for her pulse. You sighed in relief when you felt a light pulse. 

Just then, you felt a sharp pain and you were thrown into the wall, blood dripping from deep gashes along your back. You tried to reach for your gun, but not before he took another swing at you. You tried to roll away but the pain was too much. He screeched again and just before he knocked you out, you saw boots running into the cavern.

***

You came to as the brothers were fighting the Wendigo. Sam had been knocked down and Dean was on his own. You reached back to where you had placed the flare gun in the waistband of your jeans. “Whew, the wendigo hadn’t found it.” You carefully pulled it out and yelled at the wendigo “Hey fucker!” He turned around and you shot the flare straight into his chest. You watched his body writhe in flames before he finally fell and turned to dust. 

Sam ran over to you and helped you get up and walked with you out of the cave. Dean’s demeanor was cold and his face hard as he looked you up and down. You were covered in blood and bruises, but it seemed you looked worse than you were thankfully. Dean didn’t say much on the way to car or even once you got back to the motel. Once you returned, you sat on one of the beds and Sam brought a bottle of whiskey over and sat it on the side table. Sam began cleaning your wounds and stitching you up. Almost as soon as he started, Dean got up and mumbled something about needing air and left.

“What’s his deal?” you asked Sam, taking a large swig of the whiskey.

“He was really worried about you. He thought he lost you when he saw you laying on the ground unconscious.”

“Wow... This is how he acts when he is worried? I’d hate to see him angry then” you scoffed and rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, he has a strange way of showing he cares.” Sam laughed. “Ok, you’re all done. Good as new.”

“Thanks Sammy.” You smiled at him. Sam was always so sweet to you. He was like the brother you never had and was always so gentle and caring. Sometimes it was hard to believe he and Dean were brothers.

Dean finally returned shortly after and you were leaning against the headboard. He had obviously been drinking, which was nothing new but he seemed angry. He slammed the door behind him followed by a loud crash on the table as he slammed his keys on the table. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his child-like behavior.

“What’s your deal Dean?” You snapped, Sam giving you a warning look.

“My deal? Oh, I don’t know, just that if you had listened to me and kept watch outside none of this would have happened.” He retorted, his voice raising.

“And if I had listened to you, you would be wendigo chow through his hibernation period! I am so tired of you acting like we have to listen to every order you throw our way and heaven forbid we have an idea or thought of our own!”

“I am trying to keep the two of you safe!”

“That is not your job Dean! Your job, just like ours, is to keep innocents safe. Civilians. Remember, ‘saving people’?! Hunters are not guaranteed safety. What we do is dangerous. You seem to be fine with throwing yourself into the fire and don’t seem to care that maybe we worry about you too. But nooooo – we have to do what you say. Well I’m done with that. If you can’t seem to understand that I am a damn good hunter and can handle myself, then I’m done with this.” By now, you were throwing your clothes and weapons back into your duffle.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked, still sternly, but softer.

“I’m leaving. I can’t keep doing this. This fighting, this – whatever it is – I’m done. I’ve got my own shit to deal with, I can’t be dealing with yours too.” You slammed the door behind you and threw your stuff in your car. You slid behind the wheel before remembering just how paranoid the boys are. You got out and started checking the wheel wells of your car. It wasn’t long before you found a small rectangular electronic box. 

You stalked back to the room, flung the door open and slammed the GPS tracker on the table. “Here’s this back. Don’t try to find me.” 

***

Dean couldn’t believe what had just happened. He was finally getting close to you and as usual he fucked things up. He really was just trying to keep you safe, but he knew he overreacted. Dean looked at Sam who had a mix of anger and pity showing on his face.

“What?!” Dean snapped.

“Nothing Dean. You know what you did, nothing for me to even say.”

“Good, then don’t.”

Dean couldn’t believe you had found the GPS tracker. He had put it there in case you all had gotten separated on a case or something. He half smiled when he realized just how smart you were. He had to find you. He couldn’t let you go. He walked outside and you were already gone. It was unlikely you would still be there and he knew it, but he was hoping. Finding you wouldn’t be easy. As much as you thought he didn’t know it, he did – you were great hunter, one of the best. Better than Sam and Dean in some ways. He knew if you wanted to stay hidden, you would. So even though you were one of the best, he had to be better if he was going to find you.


	8. The Search

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Thank you so much for sticking with me! These updates are not as frequent as I'd like them to be so I am sorry! I don't think I've mentioned this but this is my first fanfic so feedback is appreciated! :) I didn't think when I started this that Kudos and comments would mean so much, but they really do! Thanks to all my current readers and to any new ones :)

It had been about 2 months since you had left the boys. You missed them terribly but it didn’t change the fact that Dean was an ass and couldn’t see you for what you were: a hunter. You weren’t some damsel in distress that needed her knight in shining armor to come save her or some crap. Your thoughts were interrupted by the vampire groaning in front of you. 

You had located a nest and of course it was in an abandoned farmhouse. “Why do they always pick these places, ugh” you had thought. You had entered the house and made your way through each room killing each vampire with ease, the vampires barely knowing you were there before they were dead. Your movements were calm, calculated and deadly. Your senses were sharp and you knew when they were trying to sneak up on you, always able to kill them before they knew that you knew they were there. Monsters didn’t tend to meet you and live to tell anyone about it. 

You had entered the last room in the house where a young girl was lying dead on the ground, drained of blood. In one quick movement, you pulled your gun out and shot the leader of the nest square in the forehead with a bullet full of dead man’s blood. This was the fucker that pulled you from your thoughts with his groaning. “Ugh, just die already” You said as you sliced his head off with the machete. You double checked the girl on the ground, no pulse and no extra sets of teeth. You returned to your car and pulled some gasoline out and poured it throughout the house. There were too many bodies to burn individually, so you figured you would just burn the whole house down. It was old and abandoned, you were really doing the town a service, you know in addition to ridding it of vampires, you thought as you threw the match on the puddle of gasoline and walked out. You gingerly touched the small pouch you kept in your pocket to ensure it was still there, and climbed into your car, eager to put some distance between you and this mess of a hunt.

Since leaving the boys, you had been hunting nonstop. Sirens, ghosts, vampires, even a few demons. None of the demons had any information on what had killed your daughter and honestly, some you didn’t even give the chance to them to talk. One of the demons however, seemed to have heard of you, which was unsettling. You were pretty cocky about the fact that monsters didn’t live to talk about you so how did he know? He had said there was something special about you, something that made you stronger, faster. He said that more would be coming for you. 

You had no idea what he could be talking about and at the time, didn’t care. You just thought he was trying to get into your head, be another distraction, so you killed him. The thing was however, he was successful. Since then, you had been thinking about what he could have meant. What that would mean in the future. You even had put together a hex bag to conceal your location. You tried to convince yourself that he was lying, but something about it stuck with you. 

***

“Dean, I found another case that seems to have already been taken care of. I think it’s her. Same description – something strange happens, and then suddenly stops.” Sam reported. 

The boys were back at the bunker trying to do whatever they could to locate you. They hadn’t been back home in months. They had been hunting non-stop and then once they met up with you, they had continued hunting with you as they made their way back to Lebanon. You had left just a few days’ drive outside Lebanon.

They had found 9 cases that were already taken care of and had a mysterious female FBI agent snooping around. They knew that it was you. They had been trying to locate you but somehow, you had hidden yourself. No tracking spell was working. So instead they had to resort to looking for you based on cases they thought you might take. They had mapped them all out and figured out you were heading west. Now they needed to try to catch up and figure out where you would go next. 

They loaded up the car and headed west. Sam kept researching to see if he could find a case that you might take. Dean was silent the entire time. Since you left, Dean seemed more on edge than usual. He drank more, and when he did talk, he was angry. Sam knew he blamed himself for you leaving, and it was mostly his fault. Sam just tried to be there when he needed and kept researching to find you.

***

“Damn it!” Dean yelled, as he stood outside the smoky remains of an old farmhouse. “We missed her again!”

“Dean, this is good. She –” Sam started.

“HOW is this good? She isn’t here!”

“Shut up Dean! The house is still smoking, it means she was here recently. So, we aren’t far behind her. We’re close. We will find her.”

Dean considered what his brother said and realized he was right. If Dean wasn’t so angry he would’ve realized that too. He just wanted you back. He just wanted to tell you he was sorry and let you know what you meant to him. They went back to their motel and kept researching, trying to find the closest case they could. Sam tried the tracking spell again, with no luck.

This was the closest they had gotten to you. The last 2 cases they looked into seemed as though they had missed you by a few days, even a week. The local authorities seemed puzzled to have more FBI agents show up to investigate so the boys had to be creative to avoid suspicion. The story was always the same, the female FBI agent had come in, looked around and disappeared around the time the weird stuff stopped.

Sam shut his laptop, exhausted. “Dean, let’s go get some drinks, try to relax a little.” Sam knew it was a risk trying to pull Dean away from this, but he knew he had too. Dean looked like hell and a night off could do him some good. Dean hesitantly agreed and they made their way to the local dive bar they passed on their way in.

***

You were having some drinks and hustling pool to make some money for the next few weeks. You were running low on funds and needed to make some cash asap. Playing the drunk, ditzy girl was effective as usual and within a couple of hours, you had made $600. You finished off your drink and decided it was time to go. It was starting to worry you how high your tolerance was getting, but you didn’t have time to worry about that now. You made your way to the parking lot and climbed into your car. As you turned west on the highway from the parking lot, you noticed another car pulling in from the east.

What you didn’t notice, was that it was a black Chevy Impala.


	9. Blast from the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I have a lot of ideas for where this will go, I hope you all enjoy it! Comments and Kudos keep me going :)

“Can you tell me more about the night your husband died?” You asked gently. You were working a simple salt and burn a few towns over. It seemed this ghost liked to murder husbands and you were getting the sense it liked the unfaithful ones. 

“It was just a normal night. I had already gone to bed and he was working late in his home office. I woke up because it was really cold so I got up to make sure the windows were closed and I noticed he wasn’t in bed yet. That’s when I went to his office and I – I…. found him.” She began sobbing and nothing else she said was clear enough to be understood. 

Yep, definitely a ghost. You gently asked if you could take a look at the room where he died to give the woman a moment with her family. No signs of forced entry and your EMF reader was going nuts. Definitely a ghost. You excused yourself and made your way to your next stop. You had come across a woman who had killed herself and her husband a few years back. The details about the family were almost too clean cut with the white picket fence so you had a feeling she was the ghost. Time to interview that family.

***

You were in the middle of interviewing the now adult children of the couple when your phone beeped to tell you that you had a message, damn reception was terrible here. “Excuse me for one second while I check this.”

“Uh hi, Agent Hale. This is Sheriff Oliver. I just wanted to let you know a couple of your colleagues just stopped by. I told them everything I told you and they said they would be meeting up with you later. I just thought I’d let you know. Bye.”

Shit. SHIT. You knew it had to be the boys. You were in the middle of interviewing the family, you couldn’t just leave suddenly, that would compromise your cover and you needed more information. You wrapped up your questioning as quickly as you could, gathering enough information to know this was your ghost. You had to be careful but the bones needed to be salted and burned tonight. 

***

“Thanks Sheriff Oliver, we’ll meet up with her now. She always like to get a head start on cases.” Sam told the Sherriff as they left, trying to protect theirs and your covers.

“Ok Dean, so she has already met with the victim’s families, visited the morgue and asked some ‘odd questions’ according to the sheriff about this guy that was killed a few years back by his wife. She must think one of them is our ghost.”

“Then she’ll be salting and burning the bones tonight, I’m guessing.” Dean replied flatly as he turned the Impala toward the cemetery.

***

You had just finished digging the hole when you heard heavy footsteps. You were not looking to get arrested tonight. You had to finish this and get the hell out of town. You quickly climbed out of the hole and hid behind a nearby tree, shot gun in hand. It was only rock salt, but it would hurt like hell and give you time to escape if needed. 

“Y/L/N! I know you’re here. Just come out and talk to us.” You recognized that gruff voice. Shit, it was the boys. You were hoping they wouldn’t catch onto the case so quickly but you knew if they were in town, it wouldn’t be long before they figured it out. You came out from behind the tree and could see the boys standing on the other side of the grave.

“Winchesters. Wasn’t expecting you here.” You said dryly. Dean looked like hell, he hadn’t shaved and had dark circles under his eyes. Sam looked bad too, but not as bad as Dean. He looked more concerned for his brother than anything else.

Dean started to say something, but before he could finish, the spirit of the lady you had dug up appeared behind him. “DUCK!” you yelled as you cocked your gun and shot off some rock salt. The boys dove just in time. You grabbed the salt and tossed it to Dean. Dean began pouring salt over the bones as the spirit reappeared and threw Sam into a gravestone. You shot at it again, causing it to disappear. “Hurry!” Just as the spirit reappeared again, you had thrown the match onto the bones and watched as the spirit went up in flames and disappeared.

“You’ve got a habit of getting in the way of my hunts.” You said harshly as you cleaned up your items and stalked off to your car, leaving the boys in their own shock that you weren’t happy to see them, or even seemed to care.

*** 

When you got back to your motel, you immediately hopped in the shower. Grave digging was disgusting. Part of you had been happy to see them, but you knew that you couldn’t go back to hunting with them. Especially not after what that demon had said. You were curious how they had found you though. You had done a very good job of covering your tracks, plus the hex bag helped. Yet somehow, they tracked you. Suddenly it dawned on you: Of course, they found you. You were a damn good hunter, but they were better. They had been doing this longer than you could imagine, plus after a couple months of hunting together, you had each learned the others style, habits and tells. Damn, you needed a drink and to let off some steam.

***

The Impala was parked towards the back of the motel. Hidden enough that you wouldn’t be able to see them if you came out, but that they could still see you. 

“So, we are stalking her now?” Sam asked.

“Really Sam? This is where you draw the line? We’ve been tracking her for 2 months. Pretty sure we passed “stalking” a while ago.” Dean retorted.

Just then they saw you leave your room and drive off. Dean put Baby in drive and followed you.

***

You decided you wanted to go somewhere a little nicer, needing a break from the dive bars and the type of people in them. You pulled up to a nice bar in the business district of the suburban town. You walked in and headed straight for the bar. You had just ordered your first drink when you heard a voice you recognized, but couldn’t quite place. “Y/n?”

You turned around to see Tyler, a man you worked with in your old life. He was tall (but not as tall as the boys), had brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes. He had been attractive when you knew him before, but now he was even more handsome. 

“Wow, Tyler! How are you?” you responded, genuinely happy, glad to see someone from your old life and gave him a hug. 

After a few moments, you both went and found a table to sit at. You both talked and drank for a couple hours. Both of you laughing and smiling like the old days. When you had worked with Tyler before, there had always been some innocent flirting between you, but nothing ever came of it because you were both (mostly) happily married at the time. Turns out he was also now separated from his wife, indicating that they had “grown apart” and had separated about a year ago when he moved here for a new job. He gently asked about what happened with your daughter and what you had been doing since you left. You told him that you had been travelling, trying to find out what happened and working in “sales”. Of course, you left out the details of everything that goes bump in the night. He didn’t need to know THAT. 

***

Dean and Sam were sitting in a dark corner of the bar, watching you talk to some guy. Sam had made the observation that it seemed like you knew him, based on your initial reaction, which is the only reason Dean hadn’t gotten up and levelled the guy. Dean watched your body language, how easily you seemed to laugh with him. He wished he was the one at the table making you laugh like that.

Sam could tell Dean was fuming. His whole body was tense as he watched you, his eyes never leaving your table except to take a drink. The waitress quickly figured out her attempts at flirting with Dean were futile and decided to just keep the drinks coming. After a few hours, he saw you leave the bar with the guy and against his better judgement, he decided to follow you.

***

“Ok, I’ll follow you to your place.” You told Tyler as you got into your car.

“Wow, nice car. Definitely not your ‘mom car’ from before,” Tyler laughed.

“A lot has changed since then.” You smiled sadly, although it seemed Tyler missed the sadness.

“Yes, yes it has.” He winked and climbed into his own car.

You needed this, deserved it even. Every day you put your life on the line, you deserved a little fun. “But he’s not Dean.” You quickly pushed that thought out of your head, sighing.

You arrived at Tyler’s house within 15 minutes and went inside. You were only a few steps in when Tyler grabbed you and pulled you into his kiss. You stiffened but quickly fell into the kiss as well. When things had started getting bad in your marriage, you had often wondered what things would be like with Tyler. You had always felt guilty about it and attributed it to the fact that you were unhappy and Tyler was literally the only guy you worked with let alone interacted with on a regular basis aside from your husband.

You had both made it upstairs and began removing each other’s clothes, stopping the kissing only long enough to remove shirts. It wasn’t long before you were both in bed and he was inside you. You both moved in sync and seemed to know just what the other person needed and where they needed it. He continued to thrust as you came, and your nails dug into his back. The roughness from you and your walls shuddering around him caused him to come shortly after with a loud groan.

You both laid there in each other’s arms for a few moments before he spoke. “That was amazing,” as he looked down at you smiling. “How long are you in town?”

You smiled back at him and lifted your head so it rested on your hand, “I leave in the morning, unless something else comes up for work.”

“Ah, so I probably won’t be seeing you again.” He said, almost sadly but understanding.

“Probably not for a while...” you trailed off. You knew you wouldn’t be seeing him again. Either you’d be on a case or you’d be killed and either way, he didn’t need to be a part of it. Besides, this was just a night of fun, which it definitely was and he definitely wasn’t Dean. You weren’t used to one night stands getting attached so soon. But then again, you had history with this guy.

He nodded, understanding again. “Well, at least we finally slept together. Even if it was years after all that flirting.” He laughed, then turned serious. “You be safe out there. I know there is more that you aren’t telling me about your job. You always were so open with me, so if you aren’t telling me, I know there is a damn good reason.” He stopped you when you tried to interrupt. “Stop. Sales? Please. You hate talking to people and couldn’t sell people the shoes they already owned. Plus, there is something rougher, harder about you now. I can tell you don’t trust easily. I saw how you looked around when we got here, taking in your surroundings. I don’t mind that you didn’t tell me the truth. I just hope that whatever it is, you stay safe. You are truly special and the world needs you.” 

You couldn’t believe everything that just came out of his mouth. You didn’t know how to respond. “Thank you. My work... it’s just… complicated. It’s things that most people… they don’t understand,” you whispered, looking down. He placed his finger under your chin and kissed you softly. You both laid there quietly, enjoying the peace his words brought you. You wished you could stay forever and make a new life for yourself, a safe life. But you knew that wasn’t possible. The longer you stayed, the more danger he was in. If there was anyone, or anything, following you, they needed to think this was nothing, which for the most part it was, so he wouldn’t be caught in the crossfire.

You noticed he had fallen asleep and you carefully slipped out of his bed and got dressed. You left him a note and one of your phone numbers, letting him know that he could call you if he ever needed anything. You took one last glance at his sleeping form and smiled sadly before you left. 

***

Dean watched the shadows moving in the room upstairs and knew what was happening. He had a rush of feelings flooding him – anger, sadness, pain, grief. He tried to imagine you with him instead of that guy. He had to get you back and only hoped he wasn’t too late. He began to realize that sitting here watching your shadowy movements was wrong, Sam was right. He decided to wait for you back at your hotel.


	10. Chapter 10

You arrived back at your room, exhausted. More emotionally than physically exhausted. This had been a long night. Seeing Dean had turned everything upside down. He was a cocky, arrogant son of a bitch, yet somehow, you cared deeply for him. How deeply however, you weren’t really willing to explore yet. Then running into Tyler, reminded you of everything you left behind. Sleeping with him was completely impulsive and you almost wish you hadn’t. Granted, it was fun, but emotionally messy. Seems that tracking and killing that ghost was the easy part of your night.

As you approached your room, you saw the TV flickering through the window. When you left, you knew that the TV was off. You pulled your gun from your waistband, took a deep breath and swung open the door. There was nothing that could have prepared you for Dean sitting on one of the beds. Demon? Sure. Monster? Sure. But not Dean… 

“DEAN! What the hell are you doing here?!!”

“Well, Hi Y/N. Did you have a good night?” He asked dryly. 

“Not that it is any of your business, but yes I did. And it would be better if you left. Now.” You deadpanned.

Ignoring your demand, Dean had moved and was standing right in front of you. Looking down at you through those gorgeous green eyes. “Did he kiss you like this?” He whispered as he placed his hands on your hips, pulling you up against his body, crashing his lips into yours. They were hungry, needy and soft. You froze, not sure what was happening, before giving in. His tongue teased your bottom lip, asking for permission to enter. You opened for him, missing his touch. You knew that you would do anything Dean wanted, and you hated that. You were trying to stay away, keep him safe. And here he was, bringing you back in.

Breathless you both pulled away, “No,” you panted, “not like that. How did you know I was with someone?”

He rested his head on your forehead, hesitating, not sure what he should say. Before he could think of anything, he was spilling everything. “I followed you. I saw you at the bar, talking to him and then you left with him. It had driven me crazy. But I could tell you knew him so I stayed back. But I still wanted to make sure you were safe. When I realized what was happening once you got to his house, I left. I couldn’t see you with another person. I came here and wanted to wait for you, to talk. To try to make you understand…” he trailed off then, squeezing his eyes shut. You thought you had seen moisture gathering in his eyes. When he reopened them, you saw something different. He was no longer looking at you with anger or like you were prey. His eyes were filled with lust, desire and something else. Love?

“Make me understand what? I slept with him – you aren’t disgusted by me right now?” You spoke softly, embarrassed and almost crying, not really wanting to know if he did feel that way. You didn’t know if you could recover from him being disgusted with you. 

“You want to know how that makes me feel?” His voice was husky now and as you looked up at him, his eyes were filled with anger again, lust and possessiveness. “I feel like I want to kick the crap out of him for touching you. But even more, I want to show you how much I care for you, how angry that makes me and make you understand that I want you to be mine. And make you never be able to even think about someone else because no one will ever be able to make you feel how I can.” 

His words were full of possessiveness but his eyes were full of love again. “Show me,” you choked out. 

Dean’s hands moved from your hips down over your ass and he lifted you up, slammed you against the wall and kissed you fiercely. You couldn’t breathe, but you couldn’t imagine his lips not being on yours. His tongue danced with yours and tasted like whiskey and Dean. Your body began begging for him, warmth was pooling in your core and your hands moving along his back and his arms. He took one hand and began roaming your body, moving down your breasts, gently caressing them over your shirt and bra and slowly moved down and rubbed your inner thigh as he placed kisses along your neck and collar bone. “Is this what you want?” He asked, breathily. 

You barely had “yes” out of your mouth before he turned you around and threw you back on the bed. You looked up at him, feeling desire for this man in front of you. You had your limits, but you were sure if he wanted to push them, you would let him. That was his effect on you. 

He stood at the foot of the bed staring down at you as he removed his shirt and jeans. “Clothes off.” He said sternly. He watched as you removed your clothes, stroking himself through his briefs before removing them entirely. He climbed onto the bed slowly, watching you again like prey. He began kissing up your leg, to your inner thigh, let his hot breath hover over your core and moved to the other thigh. Your hands began grasping at his hair, wanting him. He looked up at you as he began rubbing and circling your clit with his thumb. A low moan escaped your lips as he began sliding his tongue through your folds, lapping up your wetness and circling your clit. He inserted one finger and matched his strokes with his tongue causing you to arch your back and tightly grasp his hair. 

When you were able to open your eyes, you looked down at him and noticed he was watching you. You could see the pleasure he was receiving just by watching you writhe under his touch. He then inserted another finger causing another moan to escape your lips. “That’s right baby. You like that?” He asked, cockily as he shoved a third finger in, thrusting in and out and curling them to hit your g spot. His tongue kept working at your folds and circling your clit. “Oh Dean..” you moaned as you could feel yourself nearing your climax. “Good baby. Come for me.” His words were the last thing you heard before you shattered hard under his touch. He kept working you through, keeping the orgasm going as long as he could. You had never had an orgasm last that long or hit so hard. 

He climbed up on the bed further and left a trail of kisses up your body. He took one nipple in his mouth as he caressed and pinched the other. “Mmmm” he rumbled as he saw you bite your lip and close your eyes again. “You like it rough, don’t you baby?”

Your cockiness returned “You have no idea,” You said confidently as you flipped him on his back. “My turn.” You purred as you began kissing down his jawline and down his chest. Your fingers traced his tattoo as you worked your way down. When your mouth reached his cock, you took a moment to appreciate it. It was huge and hard, for you. It glistened with precum which turned you on even more. You began licking his cock from the base of the shaft to the tip. When you reached the tip, you began circling it with your tongue before taking him fully in your mouth, working your way down until your mouth was around the base. Just like he did, you were watching him. He tried to remain cocky by watching you back so you turned it up a notch. Going faster, working your tongue around him sliding up and down his length. You internally smirked as you saw him starting to lose control, closing his eyes and resting his hands on your head, gently pressing down but not hard enough to hurt you. You enjoyed watching him watch you. You knew he was liking what you were doing. As you pulled back out to the tip, he pulled your entire body up towards him and he began kissing you, at first gently, then the fierceness was back. 

He lifted your hips up and lined himself up with your entrance. He slammed your hips down around him and you both let out loud moans. He let you stay still for a moment to adjust to his size. You began riding him as his hands roamed your body, lingering on your breasts and pinching and twisting your nipples. It was all too much and you knew you were getting close again. As if he could tell, he said “Not yet baby. Not until I tell you too.” His hands then returned to your hips and he began thrusting up into you, you had to hold onto the headboard to keep from falling. You were so close but you knew you couldn’t come yet. He didn’t say you could yet. He then flipped you over onto your back, his cock never leaving you, and began thrusting hard into you at an unimaginable pace. 

“Dean, please, I’m so close” You begged.

“Beg for me baby,” his thrusting continued and his hand moved down and his thumb began working your clit. 

“DEAN! Please, I need to come. Let me come!”

“I love when you beg me. You were so wet and hot for me.” He leaned over and kissed you deeply, before whispering, “Come now, baby. Come with me.”

It was like his words had unlocked the door, you immediately came, harder than before and he keep his pace up, thrusting you through your orgasm. Your walls shuddering around his cock caused him to reach his climax and he thrust one more time before letting out a loud groan. He slowed his pace to allow both of you to come down and over a few more thrusts, he pulled himself out and rested his head on your forehead. 

You looked into his eyes and realized what you should have known that night at the bar and then after the hunt. You were his. No matter how hard you fought it, you were his.


	11. Persistence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Belorianna for lighting a fire so to speak to get the next chapter up. Sorry it took so long! Enjoy!

When you woke up the next morning, you felt trapped and it took you a moment to realize you were waking up in bed with Dean. His arm was across your waist and your legs were tangled together. You took a moment to stare into his eyes before he woke up.

“Good morning princess,” he said groggily.

“Good morning,” you smiled as you reached out and touched his face. He leaned into your touch and you noticed how soft he looked, innocent. As if the weight of the world wasn’t on him. The pain seemed gone, but you knew it would return. The pain he has doesn’t just go away.

“So, what now?” You asked as he began to get dressed, trying to figure out the plan and what everything meant. You were pretty sure you knew, but you wanted to be sure. 

“Well, we should probably meet up with Sammy. I’m pretty sure he is worried you found out I was following you and kicked my ass,” he smirked. 

You laughed as you got up to get dressed, “You know, that is pretty creepy.”

“You didn’t seem to mind when we were in bed last night,” he said seductively as he approached you, placing his hands on your hips and pulling you close, before kissing you deeply.

“Only you could get away with stalking a girl and still get her in bed Dean Winchester.” He smiled at that statement, one of those award winning kind of smiles. The kind that told you he was truly happy. 

“Don’t worry babe, just you,” he smirked again.

***

You and Dean arrived at their hotel once you all were showered and packed up. You had followed him in your car, refusing to leave your baby. Dean didn’t fight you too hard on it though, he understood that kind of love for a car.

“Dean, where the hell have you been? What happened last night? Did you talk to her –,“ Sam rambled as Dean entered the room, stopping himself when he saw you. “Well, I guess that answers most of my questions,” he continued, smiling as he embraced you in a huge moose-hug. “Good to see you, Y/n.”

“Good to see you too Sam.” You smiled. Things felt right again, but better. Before, you were both fighting your feelings but now, it was all pretty clear. 

“So where have you been? What have you been up to?” Sam asked cautiously.

You laughed. “I’m fairly certain you have an idea. I highly doubt you two finding me here and then him following me was all a coincidence.” Dean and Sam looked at each other and shrugged, silently admitting you were right.

Sam laughed nervously, “Ok, yeah you’re right. We had been looking for you. Gotta say, you are good at hiding yourself. No tracking spell would work on you so we had to do it the old fashioned way.” 

You threw the hex bag you carried with you to conceal yourself on the table. “Yeah, this came in handy,” you smirked again as the boys looked at each other again and shook their heads.

“Should’ve known.” Sam laughed again, more genuine this time. You continued on to tell them about the various cases you had gone on, killing demons and what not. You carefully left out the details about what that demon had said about you being special. You really didn’t want them to know about that yet since you still didn’t know what it meant. 

It wasn’t long before the boys had the impala loaded back up. You got in your car and followed them to some mysterious place that they wouldn’t tell you anything about. They just kept smiling at each other, and Dean almost looked giddy. You were a bit weirded out by that. Dean – giddy? What was that all about? 

After driving for what seemed like forever, you pulled up to some old building built on a hill, with a door leading into the side of the hill. “What is this place?” you asked as you got out of your car.

“Home” was all they said before opening the door and leading you inside. Your jaw dropped the moment you walked in. Looking around you saw rows and rows of books just like a library. You also saw the “war room” as they called it with gorgeous old fashioned wood tables. They continued to give you a mini tour of the place, showing you the industrial kitchen and the bedrooms. Dean led you down one hallway, showing you were his and Sam’s rooms were. 

“You can pick whatever room you want, or you can move into mine.” He had almost whispered the last part. It was so weird seeing him act like a teenager with his first crush.

“Let’s work up to that, yeah?” You said just before kissing him and selecting the room across the hall from his. 

“Glad you two finally got together. Maybe now we can focus on cases.” Sam said in a fake angry tone as he approached you both. Despite him having tried to act mad, he had a huge grin on his face. You giggled as Dean narrowed his eyes at him with a smirk. 

You entered your room and looked around. It was nothing fancy, everything looked old, but clean. You began unpacking your clothes and placing them in the drawers and in the closet. It had been years since you had a closet. You suddenly were flooded with memories of your old life, of your old house. So domestic it seemed compared to how your life was now. With how things were turning out, you almost didn’t even miss it anymore. Of course you missed your daughter, but the rest of it all seemed to no longer fit you and who you’d become. Your mind wandered back to Dean and what the future held. Granted, you weren’t sure what the far future held, but the current future seemed pretty damn good. You were brought back to reality when you heard a familiar throat clearing behind you.

“Everything ok?” Dean asked as he entered your room.

“Everything is perfect,” you responded as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him down into a kiss.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! There will probably only be a couple more chapters after this. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and keeps reading :)

You woke up the next morning feeling more rested that you had in years. You hadn’t realized how on edge you were in those uncomfortable motel rooms until you slept in the bunker. The boys had filled you in last night on all the warding and protection the bunker had and you were amazed. It made your little hex bag look like a parlor trick. 

You took a shower, noting how amazing the water pressure was and got dressed before making your way into the library where the boys were already up and researching. 

“Find anything good?” you asked as you sat next to Dean at the table.

“Actually yeah, get this: there has been an increase in ‘strange’ activity at the Weston State Hospital. So much so, that the usual ‘ghost tours’ have been cancelled until further notice citing ‘safety concerns’.” Sam said, as he continued to read the article on his laptop.

“So looks like we’re heading to West Virginia.” You said as you got up to go pack.

***

You had all decided to just take one car so now you found yourself in the backseat of the impala, which was surprisingly comfortable. The boys up front kept talking about the case as you fell in and out of sleep. Apparently, this hospital used to be an insane asylum with some pretty bad conditions and a lot of people died there. So not surprising that it was haunted, but the weird part was the increase in activity. There hadn’t been any strange deaths on site or in the area recently and ghosts don’t usually change their patterns, so something was definitely up. 

***

Later that night, you all found yourself breaking onto the property to see what you could find. You were all armed with your iron weapons and guns full of rock salt rounds. You all approached the building and could already see ghosts wandering the grounds. “Strange,” you whispered and the boys nodded. The way the ghosts were moving around made them look more like prisoners rather than ghosts with unfinished business. As you looked closer toward the apparitions, you also noticed they all looked like they were from different time periods, and many weren’t dressed like patients at all. Definitely something was up. 

You decided to start by exploring the outside of the grounds and along the river banks near the main building. It was eerie the way the ghosts just wandered around more aimlessly than usual. The ghosts didn’t even seem bothered by you or that they even noticed you all, which made the situation all the weirder. “Something isn’t right here, why aren’t they attacking us?” Dean asked.

“Not sure, but you are definitely right that something is off here,” you replied.

As you continued to move along the river banks, you felt a familiar presence, but you couldn’t quite place it. You turned around quickly, shot gun ready, to find nothing behind you.

“You ok?” Dean asked.

“Yeah… this whole thing is just weird,” you said slowly as you turned back to continue exploring the area.

“You got that right,” he replied, squeezing your arm as he walked past you.

“Mama?” a small voice behind you said.

You spun around again, gun ready, only to see the absolute last thing you ever thought you would see again: your daughter.

“Oh my god,” you choked out as you rushed toward her, the boys yelling behind you. You wanted to hug her, but stopped yourself moments before you did because you had no idea if this was really her or some trick and instead you kneeled before her. “Baby girl, is it really you? I’m so sorry, I miss you so much!” you were almost crying by that point.

“Mama, it’s me. Why are you here? Are you trapped too?”

“Trapped? What do you mean?” you questioned, the boys now standing behind you protectively.

“I don’t know mama, no one can go home,” She seemed frightened as she looked frantically around.

“Is something keeping you here? What is going on?”

“There is a man, I don’t think he is like us. But he says weird things and his eyes are weird, really dark. Mama, are you going to take me home?” 

You were having a hard time staying in hunter mode when she asked that, all you wanted to do was comfort your baby and take her home. “Baby, I can’t take you home. Trust me I want to, but I can’t. You– you died many years ago.” Clearing your throat. “Now tell me more about the man.”

Your daughter began telling you all about the weird man that lived in the building and some of the weird things he did. It hurt you to know she had been trapped here since she died. In the years following her death, you had at least found solace in the fact that she would be happy in heaven. But to find out she had been trapped this whole time enraged you and fueled your desire to kill the evil son of a bitch.

You turned and looked at the boys as you stood back up, looking to them for answers. “Dark eyes, sounds like a demon? But what would they want with these ghosts?”

“Not sure. They get their power from souls, so maybe it’s a soul farm of sorts.” Sam thought out loud.

You had never encountered something like that before, but that didn’t make it impossible. If this place was run by a demon, you needed more than rock salt to protect yourselves. “We need to rethink our game plan here,” you said, trying to compose yourself. “Let’s head back to the car and get more weapons. Baby girl, I will be back when we are done.”

“I’ll keep an eye on her,” a woman’s voice came from your right. Before you could say anything, she continued “I’ve been keeping an eye on her and some other children since they’ve arrived. I’ll keep her safe.”

Looking at your daughter and back at the apparition of a woman, you nodded. Your daughter seemed to feel safe with her and she needed someone to protect her.

******

After loading up with the necessary weapons, you all found yourself entering the main house. As you approached, you could feel the power emanating from within. Dean motioned for you to follow him and Sam to head around back. 

As you explored the bottom level you found evidence of spell work that proved Sam’s theory: this was a soul farm. “Once we kill this bastard we need to undo this,” you said aloud, not really to anyone. Didn’t matter, you were freeing your daughter with or without the boys. 

Eventually you made your way into a large room and in the center, was the man your daughter had been describing. You saw Sam chained in the corner and unconscious. 

“Damnit Sam,” Dean growled.

“You go distract the demon. Ill sneak up around back. He won’t be expecting me. He’ll be expecting you so once you are in his sights, he won’t be so worried about what else could be out here. He’ll be focused on you two. Don’t die ok?”

“That’s insane, I’m not letting you –,” Dean started to argue.

“Winchester – you aren’t ‘letting’ me do anything. This is what I am doing. This is what I have to do for my daughter. Stay out of my way.” You snapped back. Dean looked a bit taken back by your words. You were always a bit feisty, but this was a whole new level for him. He nodded in agreement, finally understanding he wasn’t going to win that argument. 

Dean approached the demon from the side and went to Sam first to try to free him, all the time only halfway staying hidden on purpose to draw the demon over. Dean was flung into the wall almost immediately as the demon began laughing.

“Ahhh, the Winchesters! I knew I just needed to be patient before you waltzed in here to save your brother,” he taunted Dean. “Where is that special little slut of yours? She around here somewhere? I’ll definitely get a promotion for this.”

Shit – they did know you were hunting with the Winchesters. You moved in the shadows to approach the demon’s back as Dean got back up to fight him. Dean was an excellent fighter and a fairly equal match for the demon. Dean was taking a beating but so was the demon, although it didn’t faze him much. You continued to approach from behind and motioned for Dean to back off. In the second Dean moved out of the way and you had a clear shot, you pulled the trigger and a devil’s trap bullet landed in the demon’s temple.

Dean rushed over to Sam as you came out of hiding. “Well, if it isn’t the little slut. How nice of you to join us.”

“I wouldn’t be so cocky you son of a bitch. Right now, you are powerless. I own you. You can’t do anything unless I allow it. Just like you’ve been doing to those souls out there. What is your end game here? Collect souls so the bosses like you? Please, you are just a low-level demon that they don’t even know exists. In fact, you doing this without them knowing could make them dust you. They frown upon insubordinance.” You mocked him as you circled him, demon killing blade in hand and cutting him periodically. 

“Think I am afraid of you, slut? You are nothing but the Winchester’s whore. My brother may have told you that you were special, but he was wrong. You are nothing. Just another pawn that gets in the way. It won’t be long before the Winchester’s get you killed just like they get everyone else around them killed. Isn’t that right boys?”

You laughed at his attempts to get under your skin. You turned so you were now staring into his eyes. You could see the blood dripping down his once clean suit. You might have been enjoying this a little too much, but you didn’t care right now. You smiled once before jamming the blade into his heart. He flickered and screamed before going limp on the ground. You turned to see Dean finally getting Sam awake and standing. 

“You good?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, lets free these souls.”

******  
You walked out of the main house, all looking pretty beat up. The spell had done a number on you and the boys had been beaten pretty badly by the demon. Sam had to use to Dean to help him walk. You all approached the river as you saw souls becoming orbs and floating up to heaven. There had to have been hundreds, maybe thousands floating up.

“Mama?”

You turned and rushed to the familiar voice and didn’t hesitate to give your daughter a hug. “You did it Mama. You saved us. Thank you!” She gripped onto you tightly as you did her, knowing you wouldn’t have this chance again. 

“We did it baby girl. These guys here, they are my friends and together we save people. After you died, and the way that you died, I couldn’t just let it be. I had to do something since now I knew what was out there. I still haven’t found the thing that killed you, but I will and I will take care of it. I love you and miss you every day, sweetie.”

“Can I stay with you? I want to help people too!”

“I know sweetheart, but that’s not really how things work unfortunately. Go with this nice lady who has been taking care of you this whole time.” Turning to the older woman who looked as if she was from the 1920’s. “I didn’t even ask your name earlier. I feel like I need to know who’s taking care of my baby.” You said as tears ran down your face.

“I am Victoria. Your daughter is an amazing little girl. I’ll keep looking out for her until I can’t any longer.”

“Thank you.” Then turning back to your daughter, “I love you little girl, but it is finally time for you to go to heaven. I will see you again, I promise.” She nodded in understanding and gave you another hug and a kiss before waving goodbye. Both of the apparitions turned into the orbs and floated up towards heaven.

You turned to face the boys who had been standing behind you, quietly observing. As you gathered your composure again, you replaced your tear ridden face with the stern, hard face you normally wore. Both boys had looks of pity on their faces as they watched you quietly walk back towards the Impala.


	13. My Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOOO sorry for the delay! Its pretty ridiculous actually, but thanks for sticking with me! I promise more is coming, and smut is coming too!

The drive to the bunker seemed to take forever. Immediately upon entering the Impala, you put in your headphones and ignored the boys. There was too much running through your head to have a coherent conversation. Seeing your daughter brought up so much raw emotion; emotion that you thought you had dealt with but evidently not. 

As you sat staring out the windows, memories were flooding you of your time with your daughter. Times at the park, her first words, first steps, the good times, the bad times, the times you questioned if you were doing the right thing, the times where she would do silly things and you were in awe of the innocence in her heart. These memories made you feel such strong emotions, from anger to sadness to guilt. Why her? Why was her life cut short? Why couldn’t you do more? Why couldn’t you save her? 

Seeing her solidified your resolve to finding the thing that killed her. Even if it meant leaving the boys to do so. This was your fight. You needed to finish what you started all those years ago. Leaving the boys would be hard. Especially Dean. Besides, you knew they probably wouldn’t let you leave. Maybe it was time to tell them. Time to tell them everything.

***

When you arrived back at the bunker, you weren’t quite ready to face the boys. You grabbed your stuff and briskly walked toward your room and hopped in the shower. Trying to gather yourself enough to be able to have the courage to tell them.

“She ok?” Sam asked as the door from the garage slammed shut, knowing the answer.

“I’m going to go with no she’s not Sammy.” Dean snapped. He was worried about you. He could handle you pissed and yelling and fighting, but this was something else altogether. This scared him. He knew there was a lot you hadn’t told them, and after this last case, he could assume it had something to do with the loss of your daughter. He only hoped you would come to him and let him in.

After your shower, you finally gathered up the courage to tell the boys about your past. You got dressed in your comfy clothes and made your way to the library. You stopped in the doorway, watching your new family. Dean sat ready a book with a bottle of whiskey and a glass next to him, casually sipping it as he read. Sam sat with his laptop in front of him a notebook to his right and a beer to his left. Both looked relaxed yet determined. Soft and deadly. These were your boys. You smiled as you walked in.

“Y/N! How are you feeling?” Sam asked. Dean looked up from his book, eyes full of concern and caution.

“Hey guys, I’m better, thanks,” You hesitated. You walked toward the table, grabbing another glass on the way and sat next to Dean, not really wanting to see his reaction to your story, but you knew Sam’s reaction wouldn’t be much better. Being near Dean relaxed you a bit. Pouring yourself a glass of whiskey you started, “I know you probably have some questions about what you saw back there. I thought I would start from the beginning and finally tell you why I became a hunter. Just like you boys, we all have our reasons.” You took a sip of liquid courage before telling them the story of how you became a hunter, how you lost your daughter and family and what led you to them. You told them everything you knew about the monster, which wasn’t much. You even told them about what the demon had told you, about you “being special” or some crap. You still weren’t sure if it was true of if he was just fucking with you. He was a demon after all. 

A few hours had passed by the time you were done with your story. Both Sam and Dean had remained quiet through most of it, with the occasional condolence or grimace. By the time the story was over, the bottle of whiskey was empty and you felt drained. Both boys didn’t seem to know where to start, they both had questions, you could tell. 

“Wow, Y/N, I am so sorry,” Sam sad with his usual pity filled puppy dog eyes.

“Please don’t look at me like that. That is why I hadn’t told anyone since I left the hospital. I hated the way people would look at me. Like I am broken or damaged. In many ways I am, but I also refuse to give up. I will find that son of a bitch and I will make him pay for everything he took from me.”

“You are not broken or damaged. God damnit Y/N, you are one of the strongest people I have ever met! Your story only proves that more. I wish you would’ve told us sooner, but I am glad you told us now. We will help you find that thing, if it’s the last thing we do,” Dean said sincerely. By his last words, his tone had softened and he had grabbed your hands, looking you straight in the eyes. His display of emotion had you in tears, realizing just how much you meant to each other. 

“We do need to figure somethings out though,” Sam gently said. “Like what the thing is and what did that demon mean? We need to know if you are in danger so we can keep you safe.”

You laughed, “That’s sweet Sammy, but of course I’m in danger. I’m a hunter. That’s just the flavor of the week. Something is always after us.”

The night wore on to morning and finally after about an hour of silence, you slipped away to go to bed with Dean. The sex that night was slow, steady and full of love. Sharing your story had brought you closer and had built a level of trust and intimacy that sex only barely touched. 

***

You woke up still in Dean’s arms. You had gotten used to the weight of him and now looked forward to waking up wrapped in his arms. You carefully slipped out of bed, with a renewed eagerness to research the monster. You had been hiding your research up until now, which made it difficult to really get anywhere. But now it was all in the open and you could delve into it without worry.

You got yourself a cup of coffee and made your way into the library. You were surprised to see Sam in there already on his laptop with a stack of books next to him.

“Damn Sammy, you’re already awake? Or did you even go to sleep last night?” you laughed.

Sam laughed with you, “Um, yeah I never quite made it to bed. I wanted to get a head start on researching this thing.” He looked down, “You mean so much to both of us, I just wanted to help.”

“Thank you, Sammy, I really appreciate it. So, what’ve we got?”

“So far, just a stack of books on monsters who go after kids.”

“Well, let’s get back to it.”

After a while, Dean joined you both in the library, as he walked by you, he kissed your head before sitting down and grabbing a book. You looked up and smiled, squeezed his hand before returning to your book. The rest of the day was spent reading various texts, new and old, with barely any breaks except to eat lunch and pee. No one hardly said a word the whole time.

At about 11pm, you found something, “Hey guys, check this out. Shtrigas are a kind of witch from Albania that feed off ‘Spiritus vitae’, the breath of life. They can feed off anyone, but prefer children since they have a stronger life force. Typically, they like to feed slowly off the child, making it seem like they have weakened immune systems, making them seem sick before they die. It also says here that if they feed to quickly, the internal organs will liquify. I think this is it.”

“Sounds like it. Does it say how to kill it?” Dean asked.

“Hmm, let’s see. When in it’s true form, wood rots when having been touched by the Shtriga, Oh here we go – ‘When feeding, a shtriga is vulnerable to consecrated iron’. Great, so we not only have to find it, but we have to find it while it is feeding.” You huffed as you sat back down.

“Hey, this is big. You figured out what it is,” Dean said, trying to console you. 

“You’re right. Let’s find us a shtriga.”

**Author's Note:**

> **I do not own Supernatural or any of it's characters.


End file.
